We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
