but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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