I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
