I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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