i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
