he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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