Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
