is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I checked into jail on foursquare
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
