I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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