The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize