i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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