You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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