Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
