My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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