in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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