Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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