My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
