I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
