so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize