wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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