Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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