sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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