Non-Jews are for practice
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
