Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
