I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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