The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
