that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
