The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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