she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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