I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
