I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude i'm inner monologue high
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
