I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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