We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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