If i come over, it means nothing
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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