The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
