just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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