Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize