Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
