Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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