My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
