Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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