laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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