i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
