I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
