So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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