is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
