And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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