Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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