I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hippo gnu deer
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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