my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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