suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
