if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
operation have a gay friend backfired
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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