he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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