I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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