I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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