i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
