wat bout pragnant strippers??
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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