Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
