fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if i can run in heels then i can drive
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
