Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
