so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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