In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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